09 Jul The 3 qualities needed to start your Self-Evolution journey
We are finally seeing it!
More and more people are waking up to the fact that living life the way they are only brings more unhappiness, emptiness and feeling unfulfilled. Maybe it’s you… Do you want out of the stressful lifestyle you got yourself into?
On a certain level, you “have it all”, the big car, the big house, 2-3 vacations per year but yet, you’re realizing that you’re always chasing something that never comes.
I know how it is. I was there 14 years ago. I was rocking my numbers as a sales rep, making money and going on vacation when I wanted. I also had one thing that many of us have: the shitty boss!
The shitty boss drove me off the edge.
I ended up on medical leave for 5 months for a burnout where I was waking up at night to hate my boss…
After 5 months, I had to do something. I couldn’t stay like this, I wanted to change but I had no clue where to start.
I asked myself “what do I really want?” and “who am I really?” I had no answer… and so my journey began…
These two questions drove me to the biggest ride of my life. A ride that forever changed how I perceive and experience the world I live in. It freed me from the pressure and destruction of this world.
Through my personal experience, and various studies, courses and certifications, I discovered that the individuals who successfully have done their inner work – and continue doing it – of finding the essence of who they truly are and what they really want embody 3 qualities that others don’t.
Without these 3 qualities, nothing will change.
You can read all the books, attend all the workshops and webinars you want, your life will stay the same, living groundhog day year after year…
If you want to step into new ways of being and create the life you are meant to live, it’s time to step it up; you will discover the clarity, confidence, freedom and inner peace you’ve been longing for.
Here are the 3 qualities:
You have to be ready.
We often say I “want” to start the journey or “I want to change but…”. We want to change but often, at this point, what attracts us is the idea or “the result” that we want. It is a lot of work that requires many changes and that, in itself, can be overwhelming, especially if we aren’t ready. As humans, we naturally fear change. We’d rather stay in what we know and we will even find very creative ways to avoid change. If we are not truly ready, we will resist, justify and avoid.
You have to be open.
Being open can be scary. It means being honest (more to come on honesty as it’s one of the biggest virtues to embody when starting this journey) and vulnerable with yourself and others. Often you’ll be working with a coach, mentor or some type of healer – because doing this work alone can be difficult – and opening up to the deepest part of you can be terrifying. We often have emotions we don’t want to feel and experiences we don’t want to revisit.
You also have to be open to learning new ways of being. Our ego can be in the way… Being open to learn how to work with your ego and your emotions requires you to be vulnerable (lots of trust here!!!).
You have to be committed.
This is simple and obvious. If you’re not committed, you’ll quit. This journey is not an easy one but so worth every tear you’ll ever shed! The payoff is huge. Only those who are committed will have the joy of experiencing clarity, happiness, inner peace and true freedom, which leads to a fulfilled life.
Do I embody the three qualities?
When I started my journey, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I wanted to change but it all seemed daunting and the only thing I could see is a big mountain and I didn’t know if I could climb it.
Many times, I resisted the change and it made it harder and more complicated. If only I knew about the 3 qualities then, it would have brought awareness and I could have approached everything differently.
You might be asking yourself right now if you are ready, open and committed…
There is a balance between letting things come with time and taking charge of your life. One thing for sure, the more you are fed up with the situation, the more ready, open and committed you will be.
If you are more of the type that likes to take responsibility and really create your life, here are some tips on how to embody the three qualities.
Being Ready: This is a conscious choice you make. You simply have to decide to do it. We have the ultimate power over everything in our life. What can get in our way is, fear, doubt, shame or any emotions making us feel not good enough (because, all emotions come from a deep rooted belief about ourselves). Ultimately, life will either impose change on you and you will be at the effect of it or you can choose to be at the cause of your life and start your journey of conscious change. You could wait for the gift of time to help you evolve but that may not match with the timeline of goals you have set for yourself. I’m not saying you need to push either, but you must put the work in to getting ready.
I once negotiated a business agreement where I thought it was a win/win/win/. After 3 years, it became obvious that it wasn’t. I didn’t want to see the signs that it was time to change something. I had a feeling of unworthiness and feared being rejected (I didn’t realize that at the time). I resisted change as long as I could… until life forced me to look at it. I wasn’t ready to change… my lifestyle took a major hit…
Being Open: Be honest. With honesty, you can open up to what needs to be worked on. How much are you hanging on to your story? How much are you resisting seeing the truth? How much do you identify with what happened in your past? How does it define you? If you want to be open, work at pulling yourself out of the story by being objective and non-judgmental no matter what happened or what choices you made, or didn’t, in the past.
It means that you are willing to look at your gunk no matter how thick it is. It’s about being open to receive feedback and guidance without justifying yourself or falling into a victim mentality.
With that business agreement, the one where life forced me to change, I lost $250,000.00 in 8 months… it was a devastating blow. There was no question that I had to work on myself, dig deep to look at how I ended up there. It was important that I let go of the belief that I had failed and that I was not good enough of a businesswoman, that I wasn’t worthy and feared being rejected if I spoke up.
It was hard at the beginning because I couldn’t believe what was happening.
As I worked with my coach, through my feelings of failure, unworthiness, rejection and overwhelmed, I learned to not identify myself with the situation, and know that as long as I understood what brought be there, made peace with it and took my responsibility in the part I played in it, I could create what I wanted in the future. I was able to let go of the self-judgment of what happened.
I looked at the facts and what led me there. This allowed me to not only learn from my past actions but to exponentially grow and let go of who I thought I was. I was able to do that because I learned to open up and trust.
Being Committed: This quality is again simple, and not easy. To be committed, you have to REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want the change. You have to be at a point where you absolutely do not want to live the same thing over and over again. It’s a nom-negotiable for you. At the beginning, you might have to remind yourself every day what you are doing and why. It’s ok, it’s normal. Human beings in general don’t like change. We look for the easiest way out and this journey isn’t easy at first, but it does get easier… and smoother.
When I realized I was in a place where I had put myself and family in financial difficulty – serious difficulty, There was no way I was going to continue doing things the way I did.
I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to change… but didn’t know how. It took all my courage and trust and faith to start.
Maybe it’s now time to step into new ways of being by becoming conscious Human Beings. To start embodying the 3 qualities and be ready to make the leap, and find clarity, happiness, inner peace and freedom, it’s worth it.