08 Jan Combating the loneliness of being a mompreneur
Loneliness often presents itself when you are a mompreneur.
After attending a networking breakfast one morning, I headed back home to an empty house. My hubby told me he would be coming by to change his shirt. Yes! La visite. Relief. However he never showed, getting caught up in work. Sigh! Still alone.
Once lunch was over, I headed upstairs to brush my teeth. I heard a voice. It was calling me. It was luring me to the bed. It was tempting me. It promised to envelop me with its softness and cajole my tiredness and sooth me into a slumber. It kept its promise! What should have been a 30 minute nap turned into a 70 minute nap. Oh crap! I felt guilt for laying down for so long. Ironically, I am reading Arianna Huffington’s The Sleep Revolution – watch this Ted Talk. I had a sleep but now had a short window to accomplish a long list of tasks before punching out and punching in for the next shift: mommyhood.
The feelings of discouragement and a lack of motivation creeped and settled in. I could not shake off the fatigue. They are not actually welcome at my door step but show up on occasion.
I refused to let all of THIS take over my day. I retreated to the oasis in the back yard. Its solitude and comfort shields me from the reality of the everyday. It is an imaginative playground full of mystery (plus a few large mosquitoes!). I sank into the Adirondack chair armed with my journal and a hot cup of coffee (plus the caffeine was sure to elevate me!).
Being an mompreneur is full of challenges. Can I be the only one who has these feelings? Hell, no! It made me think of all the networking events I attend. You know the ones I am talking about. Everyone asks you: ‘How are you? Fine. Fine. or Good. Good.’ Chances are one out of five times I am asked the politically correct question, I am probably having a crap day but not sharing those feelings. Why? Because we are denying them. Putting on a show or saving face. Call it what you want.
The message of authenticity has to resonate at all times, good or bad feelings. To tackle the loneliness, I have gathered some simple reminders I promise to implement and to help you on your mompreneur journey:
You are not alone – talk about it
Call a friend. Even better reach out to another entrepreneur. They are bound to ‘get it’. My BFF and I have been coaching each other for years on asking for help. It is not easy for anyone to reach out. It takes away just a little of loneliness. Ask the listener to simply listen. We do not always need solutions, we need compassion.
Write it out
After journaling for over six or seven years, I recently picked it up again. It feels great. Getting all your thoughts on paper relieves the pressure in your mind. You may not know what to write about and that is OK! Start with the first thing which comes to your mind and let it flow from there. If you want more guidance, pick up Julie Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. A step by step guide to writing and journaling. This week’s entry for me, seemed to be written by another. I will share a little bit of it with you later.
Playing in the dirt is beyond therapeutic. As I sat in my oasis, I realized there was a shrub not contributing value to our yard she had to go! I gathered the clippers and snipped, snipped away! My daughter and I replanted some indoor plants. Playing in the dirt was soothing (besides it was a job I needed to do!).
If you have children in your life, use them! They radiate energy and fun 24/7. They live in the moment and remind us to do the same. Give and receive unconditional love! There is never a lack of hugs and kisses in our household. As a wise man shared earlier this week, speak kid!
“Journaling about the feelings swirling withing was a gentle reminder of who I am and what I am capable of; I am enough, I do enough and I have enough. Keep writing. Keep imagining and sharing. Your voice needs to be heard and felt. Have disregard for the worry, concern and perfection you seek. BE. BE. BE. When you do (BE), you will flow down the waterfall of goodness enveloping you with abundance and love.”
I believe and preach authenticity. If I am not authentic with the situation I am living, am I true to myself? Self-expression comes in many forms and stringing all these words together is sending the message it is OK to feel lonely. It is what you do with the loneliness.
I totally get it! Saying what you really mean and saying it well (and authentically!) can be tricky. The bottom line is you need to listen to your little voice.